Letter from a Witness

By F.G. Anderson

This letter was mailed anonymously to the police station without a return address or an indication of the mailer’s identity one week after a corpse was discovered on the beachside. After repeated tests, experts deemed the letter legitimate.

Police are asking anyone with information to come forward.

The following is unabridged:

Dear investigators,

I read about the corpse found on the beachside in the news last Friday morning. The papers said you had a limited number of leads and clues helpful to determine the events surrounding the body. I decided that since I know a great deal about this event that I am obligated to assist the police in piecing together the truth and just that. This letter will guarantee you no more sweat be shed on further investigation, because what I write here to you is absolutely accurate and utterly complete. Also, I advice you to listen to the theme song of Chariots of Fire as you read, it should help picture what I am about to describe.

It was before daylight even appears last Friday and I was sprinting along the beachside in the sand. It was low tide at the time but it was rising quickly. The little kid, my object of pursue, was running with all he’s got several hundred meters ahead of me. He must have been killing himself running with those short legs of his and about to burst his lungs. You know how difficult it is to run let alone sprint on sand, the ground was literally like marshmallow! Fortunately the advantage was on me, because for every step the little kid took I took double that distance. My legs were more than twice his length and bless me I was closing the initial gap between me and the little kid every step of the way. So evidently I had the advantage minus a setback of the hatchet I was gripping and swinging while I sprinted after the little kid. The weight of the hatchet forced me to be burdened with an object to carry while sprinting; I had to use extra energy chasing the little kid with the object! The waves were splashing closer to where I sprinted then, and the little kid was literally running parallel and beside the waves hitting the sand at the bottom of the beachside. I was sprinting more away from the waves so if the little kid wanted to cut diagonally away from the beaches onto the lakeshore road he’d have to go through me. We were running parallel of each other, me a little more behind. In half an hour the beach would have become quite inhabited and the little kid would surely get away. I could not allow that to happen, it would tarnish my record of efficiency! With this new fear of not being able to finish the little kid off in time etched in my mind, I sprinted faster with all the strength I could muster. I bet the little kid was desperate to get away, he wasn’t even looking back to check on me after the three weeks in seclusion we had spent together (so much for intimate partnership). I didn’t want it to end this way either, but one lousy memory plus one unbolted lock plus one observant little kid could cause just so much inconvenience…I had to improvise after the little kid ran off. Improvising is something I rather avoid. Nevertheless despite the tragedy of the task I had less than twenty minutes to complete it and the tides were rising faster. I gained onto the little kid with speed and vigor and then I was sprinting right behind him. At last I was close enough to pounce on the little kid with one great leap. Instead I chose the no-physical-contact method: I threw my arm with the hatchet back and flung my arm forward, releasing the hatchet from my hand. The hatchet sailed spinning tomahawk style at the little kid’s back, or spine to be precise. It was one of the prouder moments of my life.

A ‘thunk’ sound came when the hatchet hit its mark and everything else is as you have found it to be. I retrieved the hatchet and took off with the waves washing away mine and the little kid’s footprints. My retreat was cleverly disguised, wiped away.

I assure you again the event on the beach as described by me was an accurate account of exactly what occurred. Do not concern yourselves with a search of the premises, I can with certainty claim I did not drop any of my possessions during the chase. You will understand I did not include a return address for this letter because I am not sure myself where shall I be heading, my address is yet defined.

I hope this letter is helpful to you in the investigation of the beachside murder. When you should ever turn up another body I know is attributed to me, I shall write a similar letter to aid the evidence. I am always willing to be of assistance to the police.


The Witness

Published on 2011/12/30 at 9:24 PM  Leave a Comment  

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